How can they come 3rd Lord?

Every mother must question this at one time. How can the Lord ask us to put my husband before my children? They (the children) can not possibly survive without me, who would meet their needs, feed them, dress them, teach them, wipe their tears, hold their hand across the street? My husband is totally self sufficient, He can do all things and really doesn't need my help. He is not helpless. So tell me Lord, why is this your best plan for marriage? I never understood this rule of God! I, like many woman,  felt my children were my main priority and they were to be my life for the next 18 years, my husband and I would regain our life as 'one' as soon as they all left the nest! So, with that, this is how I lived. I did for my children what each mother should do, feed them, shop for them, did their laundry, assisted in homework, go to plays, concerts, walk to the playground, public swimming pool, toss a ball, play with a doll, watch all the skits they would write and act out in my living room, play endless games and listen to a mountain of stories! bathe and put them to bed. Then find 'me' time, there was no 'he' time. My husband would silently ask for me, but there was just not enough of 'me' to go around. So, he  would  just move on in his life at the bottom of the ladder. Time moved on, Robert and I did not. we coasted along, I would occasionally see him in the shadows and pull him up to his rightful place, then, the needs of my helpless little ones would enter again and down he went. As my children began to grow, my husbands place just kept sinking and sinking, as they grew and needed me less and less, I found that I finally had some ME time and some extra time for my girlfriends. again, he just stayed stagnant. Much of our lives were one argument after another, the main fights were due to the raising of the children, clearly I was always right in both raising and punishing, Why would I want his opinion? I knew the children, I knew the needs they had, after all..they were first in life, he was my 3rd. or 4th and maybe even 5th. Our relationship was simply just a legal contract, he provided our family income needs, made sure the cars ran and that I had co pays and lunch money. He had no role that mattered in the chain of Gods plan for a family. I allowed my partner, (my once best friend) to be the rug that I walked on. As a man, you need to know who you are and feel wanted and needed, when a wife makes the decision not to provide this needs, he then will find people, places and things to find that fulfillment.    Is this a fact? YES, when we do not follow Gods plan for marriage and family, then we say Satan can take it, will Satan make our life flow perfect? absolutey not, he will open doors to sin and anger. He hates marriage and family..so in walked Satan and the marriage took a fast spiral to Satan's pit.           I didn't know how to get out of, but by divorce,                                                                            My children suffered the wrath of the sins we allowed in our life. Separation, isolation, bitterness and what ever else goes with the drama of parents walking away and moving on. I was saved by the Lord and his word, He stopped my divorce and opened my eyes to the fact that Gods way is the only way. Was my husband an innocent victim? No, Was I innocent? No. We were just naive, Today, My husband is 2nd in my life, after God, he is my best friend, my partner, my forever love. I know that when we put each other first, I find that I really LOVE being a mom to my children. I love to laugh and share with them. I do know now, they move on, go to college, get married have kids of their own. They do not become married to 'us' moms... Our spouses do, they are our life partners. open the door, allow your husband to take his role that God has deemed him for. Life will become easier and much more enjoyable. You will see the stress can become a joy,. walk this walk with me and allow me to help you learn as I learn